How to Pave Your Own Path and Not Give AF What Anyone Else Thinks About it

I recently—and by recently I mean a few short weeks ago—started a new role at a company I've been with for almost 8 years.  In today's world 8 years at one place seems like a lifetime and is super rare. Especially since I'm in my early 30s and many people my age have had several different job and career changes by now at many different companies. But company hopping to chase a job title has never appealed to me (okay, maybe it did when I was fresh out of college and didn't know any better). To me, the way to really grow and find what lights you up is by paving your own path. 

My newest role is my 6th position with the same company and in the 4th department. During this time, I've been promoted three times, took a lateral move, and “demoted" myself to move laterally again. I have worked in communications, HR, international affairs and, most recently, marketing. 

Why have I moved all around so much I’m now called the company gypsy? Because working in several areas has allowed me to learn different facets of the organization, meet and collaborate with many different people, and has challenged and changed me in many ways. I'm extremely lucky that they've believed in me and my ability to try new things so that I can continue to grow and utilize my evolving skill sets to not only grow as an individual, but also so that I can help propel the organization forward. None of that would have been possible if I didn't go after the things I wanted and didn't give AF about what the title was or what other people thought about it. 

You'd think I would be a pro at starting a new job since I've done it so many times already, right? Shouldn't be that hard considering how long I've been at the company and how many people I have made connections with. But let me tell you, learning new things is hard AF and scary. Now, I wanted this opportunity and wanted new challenges, but man, starting over and being the new kid and learning all new things is HARD. But guess what? You don't grow from things that are easy, and what comes from all of those hard things is strength. The ability to try something new and mastering it, then trying something else and mastering that too is pretty darn great. If I can change jobs, get my MBA, learn photography, start my own business, sign up for yoga teacher training, start this blog and do many other new scary things, so can you. 

The first time I made a move and it wasn't considered a “promotion” by societal standards, you wouldn't believe how many negative comments and straight up judgement I received about it. People would ask: “But why would you take that job if you're not getting a better title and more money?!!" It was like I was setting my hair on fire (I've done that accidentally twice before, but that's a story for another day) or that I was a legit crazy person who lost my damn mind or something. 

As much as I don't want to admit it, back then those comments really bothered me. It made me angry that people felt like my life was their business, and like their opinion of my life actually should change how I decided to live. Back then I worried that if they were saying these things to my face, what kind of things were they saying behind my back? 

But I’ve wised up over the years and realized that people are going to have a problem when you do things that scare them. Going against what everyone says you should do is terrifying, and most people are too afraid to start over or do things that really challenge them. They are comfortable. Which is totally fine if you never want to grow or become the best version of yourself, but clearly that isn't the path for me.

As expected, when the announcement went out about my most recent position change I once again was faced with so much damn judgement. But you know what, the thing that was so different this time around was my non-attachment and nonresponse to it all. It didn't bother me one bit, and that in itself has been so liberating. This whole transition has shown me that not only can I continue to grow and learn new things but also how much I've already grown in other ways. And that makes me so damn happy. 

The other life lesson in this story is to treat others with kindness. Just because they make life or career choices that you don't agree with doesn't mean you are entitled to tell them your unsolicited opinion about it. Before you react with judgement over how others decide to live their lives, ask yourself why it's bothering you so much. Are you jealous? Do you wish you could go after your dreams? Is it because you want to do all of those things but don't think you can because of your age or how starting over or trying something new seems scary as hell? Well, you've got to listen to that reason. Because by exploring those things you realize that you, too, can create the life you want and can truly be happy. 

Life is happening now while you're waiting around for the perfect thing to fall into your lap. Figure out what things light you up in life and pave your own damn path. You can live the life you want, and not give a fuck what anyone else thinks.